Has it really been 1/3 of a year since I’ve written anything inane enough to disseminate globally via the vowel-challenged self-publishing web site known as “Tumblr”? I don’t know how that’s been allowed to happen, or how my 12 followers have managed to make it through Canadian Thanksgiving, Real Thanksgiving, Christmas (or that 8-day Kwanzaa thing if I have any Jewish or African followers), New Year’s, Epiphany, Valentine’s Day, and most of Presidents’ Day - without an update from my riveting celebrity personality! 

Well, it’s time for me to stop acting like Anne Frank and come out of hiding! I have two shows next month at Ars Nova - more about those as ticket links become available - and I want to live!

So, here’s a brief synopsis of my star-studded last few months:

- as I was ‘between shows’, I agreed to help out some of my friends at the Logo television network who were looking for a rapier wit to write a few bons mots for some of their on-air promotional advertisements. It’s something resembling a “job,” and in order to not make everyone feel awkward I even agreed to take a nominal payment. Very nominal! I spent the fall in a Viacom whirl - literally on the A-List! That is to say, I was writing and producing promotional advertisements for Logo’s “hit” show, The A-List New York, which I secretly believe to have been sponsored by Al Qaeda so fiercely did its replaying images terrorize me in the edit suite! (I am sure the “real” sponsor was alcohol of some sort, to which most homosexuals are regrettably addicted.) It was quite a season, and the leaves were lovely!

- as a practicing Methodist, I attended Christmas Eve services with the family in Baton Rouge; I am pretty sure we are still the only Rosenthals in the balcony!

- in January I journeyed west to the City of Angels to “take meetings” with a bevy of television literary agents who had been enamored with a script of mine - I found valet parking to be both thrilling and, well, “validating”! L-O-L! As was to be expected, the agents seemed charmed by my looks and wit, and I am sure some career-saving grace will come from at least one of those visits, someday - even if only at the 11th hour when all other hope seems lost to the caprice of time and my own ineffectuality! Although, of course, we are a long ways off from then.

- I celebrated Valentine’s Day alone for the 36th time. (But then I’m never really alone, am I, with you - my fans! Would that any of you were around about 1:30AM some night, when things get “interesting” and my two cats inadvertently remind me of all the ways I’ve ever failed at love!) :)

- I have increased my gym regimen in an attempt to control something in my life - anything!

And that about brings us up to speed. But rest assured I have remained famous through it all - I’ve missed your cards and letters, though - keep ‘em coming! Or start them coming.

And look for more on my two dates at Ars Nova - I Light Up My Life: the Mark Sam Celebrity Autobiography Wednesdays March 16 and 30 at 8pm!